Tears Of Yesterday
by Nora-HBS-Girl
Summary: Bianca Goes To Paris To Check On Maggie, Only To Discover That Her Ex Lover Is In A World Of Pain. Maggie and Bianca Attempt To Rebuild Their Friendship In The Aftermath Of Maggie's Affair. (BaM)
1. A-Alienate

**A-Alienate**

It had been far too many years since she had talked to her...let alone seen her...so standing at her door now...looking inside the home she used to share with her...it all seemed so surreal. She had promised herself she would never allow herself to care enough about her again to get hurt...except when she saw that defeated look in her chocolate brown eyes, she was keenly aware of the fact that maybe she had never stopped caring to begin with. When Maggie pulled open the door...the white blanket hugging her shoulders, Bianca couldn't stop wondering what had happened to her...she looked beautiful...but God she had always been beautiful...now she looked so small...why hadn't she noticed that before...

"Bianca," she stated, in a broken voice...a voice that was almost a whisper.

"Can I come in," she asked, and she stepped aside for her to enter?

"What are you doing here...in Paris...I thought you were done with me for good this time," she said, as she downcast her eyes so she didn't have to see that heartbroken look on her face again...the one she assumed would always still be there.

"Maggie I...I had to come...I had to make sure that you were okay...I got a call from David...he said you were holed up here in this apartment not taking any calls from anyone...I was worried about you."

"He shouldn't have bothered you with that Bianca...I'm...I'm sorry."

She took a step closer and studied her..."Have you been eating Maggie...you look so thin...you look so pale...why are you alienating everyone who cares about you?"

"I don't feel like having to explain why I'm so depressed Bianca...ever since you left...I've...I tried to go back to my life...tried to go on living without you...but it just got harder and harder and then...one day I picked up the paper and I saw your wedding announcement...I swear it felt like a knife in my heart...I hope she makes you very happy."

Bianca wasn't sure whether she should tell her ex lover that her relationship with her ex wife was no more...except then she saw her crying...was this what she had done to her? Had their breakup really caused this change in her? "I hate seeing you so miserable Maggie..."

"It's my own fault isn't it...I'm the one who cheated on you...isn't it Karma or something?"

"No...no it's not...you don't deserve this...the end of our relationship was as much my fault as it was yours...and I...I miss you Maggie...more then anything, I miss my best friend."

"I miss you too...I miss you so much Binks."

She walked to her and held out her arms...Maggie fell into them sobbing. Bianca just stroked her hair as she soaked up the warmth that always filled her when she was this close to her. "Let's talk," she said simply. "I think we have so much to catch up on don't you?"

Maggie nodded her head and asked if she wanted something to drink. She came back from the kitchen with two glasses of root beer and they sat at the kitchen table. "Tell me about your wife," Maggie asked her..."I want to know all about this woman that you loved enough to marry."

"Maggie I...I don't know if that's a good idea."

"Why not...I just want you to be happy...if I can't make you happy anymore then I want to know about the woman who can."

"It's not that...it's...Maggie, we aren't together anymore. "

There was a brief pause as Bianca looked away...this time it was she who wanted to avoid seeing something in her ex's eyes. Maggie reached out her hand and covered Bianca's with her own. "I'm sorry Binks. I am. You want me to kick her ass for you."

She just smiled at her then...both of them bursting into laughter for the first time in a very long time. "I've missed that laugh, " Bianca said.

"I've missed that smile," Maggie returned.

They filled the silence with an easy comfort that had once been there and then Maggie asked the hard question. "What exactly does all of this mean?"

Bianca acknowledged the unknown then reached out for her hand. "I'm not sure Maggie...but maybe...maybe we can try to forgive each other as friends...see where it goes. Right now it's the best I can offer."

"I'll take it," she responded. They settled in on the couch and Maggie turned on a movie. This day had just turned out to be brighter then she expected. They had plenty of time for unanswered questions. For now, they would just be.


	2. B-Brave

**B-Brave**

Somewhere between the late hours of the night, Bianca heard Maggie get up and pace the floors. She was holding a little girl in her arms, soothing her with singing. She couldn't help but smile at her as she watched her. Maggie was a mother. In all her wildest dreams, she hadn't guessed this.

"Maggie," she asked, as she placed a cool washcloth on her daughter's forehead. She seemed oddly calm, even through her obvious fear. "Maggie, what is it," Bianca asked her?

"She's sick Binks. My little girl has Leukemia."

"Oh Maggie, I'm sorry," Bianca said, as she rose from the couch and took the other woman in her arms.

"What's her name? What's your little princess's name?"

Maggie paused before looking up into Bianca's eyes...tears threatening to fall as she whispered "Christine. I named my little girl after you."

Bianca was awestruck as she brushed the stray hair back from Maggie's face...for the first time noticing the worry lines lining her cheekbones. "You've been doing this for a long time haven't you? Taking care of a sick child all by yourself."

"I knew what I was getting into Binks. She was sick when she was born. Her parents didn't want that burden. I couldn't stand to see such a precious angel suffer all alone so I asked if I could adopt her...She's made me happier then I ever thought I could be...Cancer or no cancer, she's my world."

"I know the feeling," she said, as she looked at Maggie. Both of them knew she was speaking of Miranda and Gabby. Once upon a time Maggie had been the closest thing Miranda had to a second mother. She loved that little girl. "How's little Mimi," she asked Bianca?

"Growing like a weed," she joked. "She misses you Maggie. Those months we spent together were important to her too. She'd love to see you."

"I'd love to see her too. I bet she's just as beautiful as her mother."

She said nothing as Maggie walked to the bedroom and tucked her little girl into bed. "You want to help me sing to her," she asked? Bianca didn't have to be asked twice. She kneeled on the other side of the bed and together they sang a song to her about hope. Somewhere between the song, their fingers linked. They felt a familiar warmth as they looked at each other. Maggie kissed her daughter goodnight and they walled out of the room.

"You want some ice cream," Maggie asked? _She had remembered her late night weakness for ice cream_. "I'd love some," she said, and joined her in the kitchen. Bianca looked at Maggie and smiled. "You're such a wonderful mother Maggie...I'm so proud of you...you made a life for yourself...you probably saved that little girls life...I don't know if I could ever be that brave."

"Bianca, you're the bravest person I know. You've survived things most people couldn't. Don't ever say you're not brave. You're where I draw my strength from."

"I've missed you Maggie," she said. "I've missed conversations like this. I've missed my best friend."

"I've missed you too Bianca...that was the hardest thing about losing you...losing our love was one thing but...but losing our friendship...I don't think I could stand it if you couldn't be my friend...I was so lost without you."

"Me too," she said, and reached for her hand. "I should probably get going...It's getting late."

She wanted to ask her to stay but wasn't sure if that would be appropriate..."Okay. Would it be pushing it if I asked if I could see you again tomorrow?"

"Of course not Maggie. We have so much to catch up on. I'll be here in town for a while. I'll be here."

"Thanks for coming," she said, as she walked her to the door. Their eyes lingered a moment before Bianca said "I will always come if you need me because that's what friends do." Maggie opened the door and gave her one last smile but then the sky opened up and she was getting drenched. They couldn't help but laugh at the irony before Maggie said "You don't have to go Bianca. You can stay in the guestroom. I promise I'll give you all the space you need."

She knew she should probably head to the hotel anyways and avoid any awkward discomfort that might still exist between them... but for some reason she found herself accepting the offer. Maggie showed her the guest room and returned with an old tee-shirt. "I'm guessing your clothes are in the car," she said.

"You know me so well Maggie. And thanks."

"Don't mention it Bianca. You can stay as long as you like."

"Goodnight Maggie."

"Goodnight Bianca."

There was a moment when their eyes lingered but just before Maggie was about to walk away, Bianca leaned in and kissed her cheek. It was their unspoken way of saying thank you for being there. They knew they didn't need to thank each other but they felt grateful nonetheless. Bianca and Maggie both lay in their separate beds that night and thanked God for helping them set their friendship right. It would take a long time to repair what had been broken but it felt good to be back in each other's life...healing the damage that allowed them to be friends again. They could do nothing more but hope for the healing to continue. They missed each other...but they wouldn't rush a relationship only to be burned again.


	3. C-Chemo

**C-Chemo**

Bianca went with Maggie to the hospital the next day. Maggie always had such a difficult time watching her little girl struggle through chemo therapy. Bianca put her arms around Maggie as she stood at the door and peered through the small window...she had never been able to go very far...she needed to know her little sweet pea would be okay.

Tears streamed down her face and her body began to tremble. Sometimes she felt as if it was _she_ who had the cancer. "It's okay to cry Maggie. I know you think you have to be so strong but you don't have to...not with me..."

"I don't want you to think that I'm using this to get closer to you...I would never do that Bianca...I just..."

"I know," Bianca soothed as she pulled her into her arms and began to stroke her hair as Maggie became hysterical. "Believe me, that thought never crossed my mind . I think you are a mother who is terrified. I don't know how you do this every day."

"I don't have a choice...I have to make it okay for her."

"Who's making it okay for _you_?"

The silence between them answered the question...Maggie had been doing this all alone for God knows how long...and nobody had been there to make sure she ate or slept or took care of herself at all...that would change now. Bianca slipped her coat off and wrapped it around Maggie's shoulders. She was shivering now so she led her to the couch and made her sit down. "Don't wear a hold in the floor okay...you sit...I'll be right back."

Maggie didn't ask where she was going and she didn't question her desire to take care of her...when Bianca had been suffering many moons ago, it had been Maggie who took care of Bianca...that's what friends did...they were there for each other...Even though the trust between them had been severed, they were working their way back to that...back to friendship...it felt nice to have someone finally in her corner...She looked up a moment later, and there was Bianca, holding two cups of tea.

"Drink this...it will calm your nerves. "

"Thank you," she said. "Thank you for everything."

"You don't have to thank me for wanting to be here for you...you were there for me Maggie...I want to help you like you helped me."

"You are...just being here helps."

She gave Maggie a smile and then Bianca rested her head on Maggie's shoulder as she sipped her tea. This felt nice. Being with Maggie felt nice. She wished it was under better circumstances but she felt like so much of the pain had melted away with one little girl...

When the Chemo was over, Maggie and Bianca sat with her in the hospital. She always felt the need to throw up afterwards and Maggie was already there with a bucket when it came. She wiped her daughter down with a cold washcloth as Bianca soothed them with song. The doctor came in and gave her the medication. It was a new medication combined with the chemo that they were hoping would work. Maggie didn't want to think of having to subject her to a transplant...if they could even find a donor. With Christine sleeping in Maggie's arms, Bianca put her arms around them both, and together they prayed. Maggie soon fell asleep in Bianca's arms and she gently caressed her cheek.

"You get some sleep sweetie," she whispered, as she spent the whole time watching mother and daughter nap. She was completely content to be right where she was. All this time she had believed that she had put her feelings for Maggie to rest but she was wrong. Being with her now just made her realize that she had never really stopped loving her. And loving her gave her strength...strength to admit that she wanted the same things she did...they had so many issues to iron out...and she wasn't going to go rushing back to her or anything but...but she still loved her...that much, she had to admit.

"I love you too," Maggie whispered, as she came out of her sleep. Bianca had thought she was only telling this to herself but apparently the words had slipped out and Maggie had heard them. Maybe that was a good thing. She kissed the top of her head and told her she would bring the car around. Maggie smiled slightly as she scooped Christine into her arms and followed Bianca out the door.

_Things were finally starting to look up...maybe Miracles really did exist. _


End file.
